Hormones. Essential perhaps, but how do they play havoc with the body…
Looking back over the last 18 months, I can now see how terribly hormonal I was. I have the utmost admiration for MultiDaddy for dealing with me. Wow, was I a mess.
The most hormonal phase (I now realise) was the first few MONTHS after the birth.
The first instinctive hormonal reaction I felt on giving birth (apart from the relief that the babies were ok and the wonder of ‘they’re actually here’) was an almost feral mama bear response. I might not have had a clue what I was doing, but apart from qualified medical professionals as far as I was concerned no-one else did either.
Baby blues lasted a couple of days (days 5 – 7 to be precise) which involved much crying, questioning, and general feelings of denial. I thought I was feeling better after day 7 – the hormonal blitz certainly lifted, but I was by no means out of the woods. Jumpy, nervous, ever-watchful, doubting….being on red alert 24-hours a day took it toll. There were very very few people I wanted or trusted near the babies. And woe betide anyone who attempted to do anything with a baby without clearing it with me first (a later post will follow on vulnerability of a new mum and how ‘help’ can unwittingly make it worse).
The next big hormonal lift was on stopping breastfeeding at 6 months. Suddenly my energy levels lifted – I’d had no idea of just how much those babies had (literally) been taking out of me.
And now, after nine months, my hormones have changed yet again. I have even more energy. But more importantly – I am more relaxed. I can relax when other people are around the babies, I no longer panic at every cry or whimper, I have the confidence to ignore advice which I do not agree with. In short, most of the old me is back.