‘You don’t know any different’

A fellow first-time twin mummy said to me the other day ‘you just don’t know what it’s like not to have twins’.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard that sentiment and it’s got me thinking – ‘really?’ – because actually I think I can do a pretty good job of imagining what it’s like to have one baby at a time, and specifically one baby as your first baby.

At least half the work would be a starting point. One mouth to feed. One crying baby to tend to at night.

A single stroller that fits through (nearly all) doors. The ability to use a baby carrier (yes there are twin carriers but by the time I’d recovered from pregnancy/birth the babies were too big to carry together for any length of time). Mummy and me time without the guilt that someone is left out.

Lots of my first-time mummy friends have single babies (unsurprisingly). I look at them and think, sure, I can imagine what that’s like. I can see that they might want more playdates as their babies need to socialise with others, whereas mine already have each other. I get that they might worry that baby has undivided attention which might be an issue if a sibling comes along.

Maybe I’m missing something here. But then I’d always imagined having one baby at a time until I found out I was pregnant with twins.

4 thoughts on “‘You don’t know any different’

  1. salubriousmama

    Ever have to restrain yourself from punching singleton moms when they say “I know what you’re going through. I’ve had kids?” Did your kids eat less than 24 hours a day and take a nap at any point when you could lay down with your baby and not have a second one who wasn’t remotely sleepy. Sorry for the rant, it’s just that I can imagine it too. But then… Could you part with one?

    1. multimummy Post author

      I’ve had to restrain myself A LOT since having the babies – it’s unbelievable what people say/do! Ps loved your post on strangers touching babies – I hear you on that!!


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