My mother-in-law came to visit the other day. Regular readers will know that she can’t help but interfere. Probably with the best of intentions, but still.
In this instance what attracted her criticism was the BabyBoy and BabyGirl did not seem to like the quiche I’d made for their lunch. I wasn’t concerned – they were eating other things – and we have been doing baby-led weaning so I’m keen to let them choose foods.
Nothing would do but for mother-in-law to make another dish for BabyBoy and BabyGirl. It most certainly was not necessary and I didn’t want her to but I decided to be polite and let her get on with it. Whatever.
Now my mother-in-law cannot speak much English. I also know that her views on child-rearing are different from ours. So I asked Multidaddy to remind her not to put salt in the food.
Multidaddy relays the message. She seems to understand. Then as the kitchen door begins to swing shut as he makes his way back to the table I hear the words ‘just a little bit’ in her language.
Now I can’t speak much of her language, but I was pretty sure about what I’d overheard. I was livid that, yet again, she was directly overriding our wishes with respect to our children.
‘No,’ I called to Multidaddy from the dining room. ‘No salt at all.’
I tasted the dish when she brought it out before offering it to the children. It had no salt in it. But why why why does she have to be forced to listen to our decisions? Even when her own son asks her specifically not to do something.
And I was a little bit glad that BabyBoy and BabyGirl did not want to eat her food. Not nice, I know, but it does show that I am quite capable of planning my children’s meals.
afterninemonths 
Oh dear, that isn’t good at all because she is causing you to feel like she doesn’t care what you think nor does she respect it. It sounds like she would love to care for babies again, though, and unfortunately they aren’t hers to care for (alone, anyway!). I know that must me hard for you both. *hugs*
It’s the respect thing that really really bothers me. And she just doesn’t get that at all 😦
Let’s sprinkle a little crack over their green beans it won’t hurt….. LOL They always have to add something to be “better”! I have an aunt who insists that Harper eat onions ONLY because I hate them. And Harper throws them in her floor. I win.
😀
Boundaries are so, do hard to enforce – and it’s exhausting, which makes it all the more infuriating. I was like a DEMON with MIL boundaries, and now that S is 2.5 she (mostly) follows our wishes without constant reinforcement. But now #2 is only six weeks away she’s back to saying/doing slightly inappropriate things, which makes me suspect we’ll have to go through it all again. I can sympathise!
Oh, yes, it is SO exhausting!! And then I get resentful of the fact that she’s adding to my tiredness – it could be so helpful having her around, but instead it’s just draining…. Best of luck with the new arrival!!
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