Desperately seeking an ‘out’

A long time ago (it seems) I was suffering from post-natal depression and overwhelmed by becoming a mum of twins.

And the most terrifying thing to me was the endlessness and relentlessness of parenting – that unlike a job, course, friendship….this wasn’t something that I could just quit.

Or was it? I didn’t have the sort of PND which made me think about harming my children. But what did help me wade through the sea of panic was this thought: ‘If I really can’t handle it, there’s always adoption’.

I never seriously seriously looked into adoption – each time I neared that ledge I would back away – but it helped because it gave me a mental ‘out’. And knowing that there was a way out made it much much easier to cope and, ironically, to choose to carry on.

The human mind is a strange thing…

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3 thoughts on “Desperately seeking an ‘out’

  1. What Would She Think?

    I feel you! I felt myself digging myself into the black cloud of PND a couple of weeks ago. I felt my life as I knew it was far behind me, and I was having a hard time coming to terms with it. I realized I had to get up and do something about it. So once a week I’m going to let my husband enjoy a day with his daughter and I’m going to go out and do something for myself; lunch with a friend, manicure, shopping, coffee, whatever. Just get out of the house.

    Hang in there. xx *R

    Reply
    1. multimummy Post author

      That feeling of life as I know it slipping away was terrifying! Taking time out saves me too – I feel guilty about doing so, but I know that it’s essential….

      Reply

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