A long time ago (it seems) I was suffering from post-natal depression and overwhelmed by becoming a mum of twins.
And the most terrifying thing to me was the endlessness and relentlessness of parenting – that unlike a job, course, friendship….this wasn’t something that I could just quit.
Or was it? I didn’t have the sort of PND which made me think about harming my children. But what did help me wade through the sea of panic was this thought: ‘If I really can’t handle it, there’s always adoption’.
I never seriously seriously looked into adoption – each time I neared that ledge I would back away – but it helped because it gave me a mental ‘out’. And knowing that there was a way out made it much much easier to cope and, ironically, to choose to carry on.
The human mind is a strange thing…