As BabyBoy and BabyGirl’s first birthday approached I found myself thinking, maybe I do want another child (or another set of twins).
And now, as BabyBoy and BabyGirl
hit 16 months, I am going through a severe case of bump-envy (in the nice sense of ‘envy’).
This is an amazing turnaround for me. I had a tough pregnancy. The newborn stage was terrifying. I had post-natal depression.
I could do it, with lots and lots of help. But I’m not sure how fair that would be. We’re already very lucky to have two babies. And cliched as it sounds, I really really do love having twins now.
To add to the confusion, part of me, a very small perhaps-not-entirely-rational part of me, really wants to experience carrying one baby. Maybe then, this part of me whispers, maybe then I won’t have such a tough pregnancy, maybe then I’ll glow like you’re ‘supposed’ to.
And that, I know, is in itself not a good reason to try and bring another child into this world. Pregnancy is only nine months but, as this blog title emphasizes, there’s the whole ‘after nine months’ that follows…
Still, I’m stunned that I’m even half-contemplating the idea. 16 months ago it would have been a definite no.