I had gorgeous babies…and I didn’t realize

Even before BabyBoy and BabyGirl were born, I was teetering on the edge of depression. The thought of having twins terrified me, because that wasn’t in the plan. When they arrived, healthy and perfect, I tumbled headlong down the rabbit hole of postnatal depression into denial, doubt, panic, resentment at not being ‘normal’ and wondering whether escape was an option.

‘Ex-Career Girl Mothers’

As a mother who, in her pre-baby life, had a successful career, I have days when it pains me to be a SAHM.

Not because I’m not enjoying it. Right now, it’s an active choice that I’m making. But because, hey, there’s all this brain-power that I have, and I feel like it’s going to waste.

The On-Going Costume Debacle

At the moment I feel like I’m the only person in the world like this, but you know what, Halloween does nothing for me. I feel weird celebrating ghosts, skeletons, murderers…and seeing three year olds in scream masks and babies wearing devils horns creeps me out.

It does even less for me now I have my own very young children. BabyBoy and BabyGirl are almost two. This weekend started the round of Halloween parties. Which of course all require dressing up. Have you tried forcing a costume on an almost-2-year-old who doesn’t have the foggiest idea what you’re trying to do but would rather wear the favorite outfit that they’ve just spied in the wardrobe? Not fun.

Is it wrong that I want to spend time with my children?

This seems like an odd question, but with the influx of (very welcome) relatives over the past few weeks I’ve had some time to myself. Which has been lovely.

But you know, for the first time in ages I am not bone-tired. I have a to-do list which is long, but not too long.

And all I want to do is eat, sleep and play with BabyBoy and BabyGirl.

Picking up Cosmo

So today I indulged in a pedicure and the friendly nail therapist handed me a copy of Cosmopolitan to while away the time. Needing a break from my phone, and vaguely remembering the Cosmo quizzes from Bridget Jones’ heyday, I idly flicked over some of the pages.

’12 kinky quickies!’

‘Get what you want in bed!’

‘The sexy power issue!’

And that was just the front page.

To Parents of Small Children: Let Me Be the One Who Says It Out Loud

I used to think that motherhood = martyrdom. And that I would be failing as a mother if I was not a martyr.

Now, as BabyBoy and BabyGirl near the 2 year old mark, I am getting better at reminding myself that it’s ok for me to take a break. And it’s brutally honest views from other parents, like the extract below (which also makes a great point about information saturation), which helps to keep me on the straight and narrow path to sanity.