Ah, Christmas. That wonderful time of year when families come together and all is joyful….until the inevitable foot-in-mouth situation.
I love that there are now children around again at Christmas. But three years ago I was teetering on the edge of post-partum depression, fueled by an epic family disagreement (one day to be the subject of a post). And in those first newborn weeks I made the stupid decision to get professional photographs taken of the newborns. Continue reading
As we wind down (or gear up, depending on your point of view) for the summer holidays and all that traveling with young children entails, my stress levels are rising. And they have not been helped by the obligatory pre-holiday visit from the in-laws.
We are taking BabyBoy and BabyGirl to visit my parents this summer (woo hoo!). They live overseas so it’s a big deal for us to go. My in-laws, on the other hand, live a few hours drive from us and we see them all too regularly. However, this has not stopped my mother-in-law from acting like we’re emigrating.
‘Grandma’s going to miss you sooo much!’
‘You’re going for such a looong time!’
‘BabyBoy, will you talk to Grandma on the telephone while you’re away?’
Yes, she’s piling on the guilt thick and fast. And those are sentences she has said to my 2 year olds.
But as a final, parting shot she decided to remind us that she still, still, has no respect for us as parents.
My in-laws are good, worthy people. But boy do they rile me up when it comes to my children.
My mother-in-law in particular suffers from (a) a lack of tact, and (b) a lack of boundaries. On a bad day, I can silently (and when she has gone, not-so-silently) wish that she never had to set foot over my threshold again. On a good day, I can take a deep breath and let it go. Continue reading
I am not a big fan of the iPad for BabyBoy and BabyGirl (although I fully intend to make use of it on plane journeys – anything is better than screaming kids in a sardine tin in the sky). It tends to make both of them, particularly BabyGirl, hyper and they start displaying addictive behavior.
My mother-in-law, on the other hand, sees nothing wrong in that flashing screen.
Sometimes, other adults seem to have no idea how to treat children.
Recently, we met up with some friends. Some of whom have their own children. And my mother-in-law.
I was appalled at how some of the adults felt that it was the job of my children to entertain them.
There are so many things we want to give our children. But sometimes, reality makes that really really hard.
‘Expert advice says no screen-time for the under-2s…I’ve got a long plane journey with a wriggly 18 month old.’
‘I’m not supposed to add salt to my baby’s food…all the bread in the supermarket has salt listed on in the ingredients.’
‘Everyone says open-ended natural toys are the way forward…Grandma has just turned up with a piece of battery-powered noise-and-sound-making piece of plastic.’ Continue reading
Motherhood has brought many many changes. But one of the changes I was not expecting was how much it would require me to detach myself from my ‘original’ family in order to create my ‘own’ one.
It’s been a terribly sad process. My old family was very very close. And on the face of it sometimes we still are. But sometimes, sometimes it becomes painfully obvious that my old family is just not the same now I have children. Continue reading
I have a fraught relationship with my in-laws at the best of times. I’ve attended parent coaching to try and improve things. I’m trying to forgive them for the mess they made around the birth of my children. I’ve let them come and visit four times in the past six weeks.
But now I’ve officially HAD ENOUGH. Continue reading
Another pearl of wisdom came forth from my mother-in-law recently (can you guess she’s been visiting?)
So, here’s the scenario. She came to visit. She played with BabyBoy and BabyGirl. She noticed that my parenting involves teaching my children (shocker). She’s had a son. Continue reading
Adding to the list of ‘did my mother-in-law really mean that’ sayings…
18-month old BabyGirl was being a bit cheeky – she was standing on a battery-operated toy. I told her ‘we use our hands, not our feet’ (something I’m saying on a daily basis right now), and when she just sort of looked at me I went over and gently moved her feet.
afterninemonths 