Ok, so I’m not up on the Star Wars reference (I know it, but I’m possibly the only person who has not watched the film). But here’s the thing – I am going to be my children’s parent, not their friend.
It always amazes me when people say they want to be their child’s friend. It amazed me more when I heard that someone had said it on a parenting course that I had been thinking of attending. I’ve had years of experience of being a friend, so if I need a course on anything it’s certainly not that.
Adding to the list of ‘stupid things adults have said to my kids recently’ is the line of questioning a dear friend subjected my daughter to.
‘ BabyGirl, do you have a boyfriend?’
‘BabyGirl, do you want a boyfriend?’
‘BabyGirl, are there any nice boys in your playgroup?’
Continuing from my most recent post on how it is not my children’s job to entertain visitors, I have another, more serious, observation: my children’s affection is not a commodity.
Out with some friends, my children were subjected to a barrage of requests for faux affection.
So recently I reached out to a friend for support. BabyBoy and BabyGirl had been all over the place for days, and I needed some reassurance that this was normal toddler behavior (which I know it is, but it’s nice to hear it from someone else, and I was hoping for some other ideas on how to cope).
When you’ve had to abandon an outing because your kids are having a meltdown, the absolute last thing you need is a message saying, ‘Sorry, my kid is totally amazing and never freaks out ever’. (Ok I’m paraphrasing, but only a bit). Continue reading
I like to think I have a strong marriage. I love my husband.
But if he falls asleep at random times during the day – in the car while I’m driving, while he’s supposed to be playing with the kids – one more time I may have to punch something.
Motherhood has brought many many changes. But one of the changes I was not expecting was how much it would require me to detach myself from my ‘original’ family in order to create my ‘own’ one.
It’s been a terribly sad process. My old family was very very close. And on the face of it sometimes we still are. But sometimes, sometimes it becomes painfully obvious that my old family is just not the same now I have children. Continue reading
I have a fraught relationship with my in-laws at the best of times. I’ve attended parent coaching to try and improve things. I’m trying to forgive them for the mess they made around the birth of my children. I’ve let them come and visit four times in the past six weeks.
But now I’ve officially HAD ENOUGH. Continue reading
Is there anything sadder that realizing that some people, most people, are destined to disappoint you? Continue reading
Thirteen weeks in and I’m still continuing the Ten Thoughts Tuesday challenge…
1. This week, I am feeling sad.
2. Mainly because I feel like some of my ‘old’ family – parents and siblings – do not love my children ‘enough’.
3. We live far away from them, and all but two members seem reluctant to make trips to visit.
Once upon a time there were two bears: Daddy Bear and Mama Bear. They lived in little house that was not near any woods.
Mama Bear was pregnant with BabyBear 1 and BabyBear 2. The time came for Mama Bear to go to the hospital to give birth. Daddy Bear accompanied Mama Bear and stayed at the hospital with her.
While Mama Bear was in hospital Goldilocks did not appear, but Mother-in-Law Bear and Father-in-Law Bear came to the little house.
There was no porridge to eat, but there were beds to sleep in.
Being modern-day bears, Daddy Bear and Mama Bear shared one bed. It was a little bit firm and a little bit soft. In fact, as the BabyBears were to sleep in their own cots, it was just right.
(There was also a guest bed but Grandma Bear was already installed in it.)
So, just as Goldilocks had once upon a time sampled the Bears’ porridge and beds without so much as a thought, so this time did Mother-in-Law Bear decree that she would sleep in Daddy and Mama Bears’ bed. After all, it wasn’t bring used at that moment and was just right.
(Father-in-Law Bear was relegated to the sofa.)
And just like Goldilocks, Mother-in-Law Bear did not ask permission, or think that poor Mama Bear might want her bed nice and clean when she returned to the little house with the newborn BabyBears.
‘Someone’s been sleeping in my bed’ did not adequately express Mama Bear’s feelings upon finding that her bed had been used, without permission, by someone else, at a particularly vulnerable time.
The End
afterninemonths 