Regular readers of this blog will know that my mother-in-law and I have our differences. However, this post isn’t one of my usual vents, but more of a musing.
Before I had children, I had an idealistic view of how the grandparents would be involved. Having lived overseas from my own grandparents, I hoped for a more ‘normal’ life for my own children – when the grandparents would be near enough to swing by, give me a hand with the children, take them out for special bonding time etc.
Well, life hasn’t worked out like that. I’m now overseas from my own parents. Multidaddy’s parents don’t see eye to eye with us on child-rearing. I’m nervous and on edge when they’re around.
But most of all I’m disappointed.
I might be being mean here, but it annoys the heck out of me when the grandparents swan in and think their only job is to be entertained by BabyBoy and BabyGirl. Fine, do come and visit, but don’t leave me to clean up the dinner table while you do a runner with a baby to the nursery.
Nothing in life is free. If you come over, expect to at least offer to give me a hand. I’ll probably be polite and refuse, encouraging you to go play with the kids, but offering will stand you in good stead in getting time with my children.
Today I found out that my younger sister is getting married. And while this does not mean that I can neglect my mummy duties, it does mean that I have been temporarily thrown back into an old mindset.
My sister and I were always close, until last year. In fact, I didn’t realize until a while after BabyBoy and BabyGirl were born just how far apart we’d grown. I thought it was because my hormones had apparently turned me into a nightmare. I have now found out that she feels that my pregnancy put her life on the back-burner. She feels that she couldn’t get engaged while I was having the babies. And she blames me, with anger, for that and for ‘making’ our parents pay attention to me while I was pregnant and adjusting to motherhood (the first time in literally years that I have needed some parental help).
I’m hurt, and angry myself, by the way she has somehow managed to make me the reason for the delay in her engagement. Heck, I was pregnant, but why should that have stopped her? We all would have been happy for her – I think her fiancé is great. I’m also very upset that she has withdrawn from BabyBoy and BabyGirl because of all this – she has shown no interest in them over the past few months.
And I hate the change.