We recently had a visit from Multidaddy’s parents – one set of grandparents. And although my in-laws and I have clashed over the babies, things have got better, and I survived their most recent four-day visit. So it seems a good time to consider how new parents can deal with their new roles vis-a-vis the grandparents.
1. Decide on your parenting philosophy (as far as you can) before baby arrives. This is difficult, but even small decisions can help. For example, when I was a baby the medical advice was to put babies to sleep on their tummies. Multidaddy and I decided that we were going to follow the most recent advice which advocates putting babies to sleep on their backs and we actually discussed this with both sets of grandparents before the birth. For things that emerge after baby comes (and there will be many) discuss them when you and your partner are alone, and then present a united front to anyone who challenges you. Continue reading