Tag Archives: Parent-in-law

The Grandparent Files – Case 2

I find that one of the most annoying things that someone can say to a (new) mum is that baby doesn’t look like you. Or in my case, that neither of the babies look like you.

Yes, this is another pearl of wisdom that fell from my mother-in-law’s mouth during her last visit.

What is the point of such a comment? Are you saying that they’re not mine (those nine months of pregnancy would disagree)? That there’s been some sort of genetic misstep and they’ve inherited all their genes from Multidaddy? That the hospital made a mistake and gave us the wrong children?

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The Grandparent Files – Case 1

I recently started writing about grandparents and new parents. However, as my mother-in-law has come to visit yet again, and our relationship continues to evolve, I’m now starting ‘The Grandparent Files’ – a collection of thoughts, ideas and (hopefully few) rants on dealing with the grandparents – that build on those lessons I’ve already posted about.   Continue reading

Four days with the Grandparents – lessons learned

We recently had a visit from Multidaddy’s parents – one set of grandparents. And although my in-laws and I have clashed over the babies, things have got better, and I survived their most recent four-day visit. So it seems a good time to consider how new parents can deal with their new roles vis-a-vis the grandparents.

1. Decide on your parenting philosophy (as far as you can) before baby arrives. This is difficult, but even small decisions can help. For example, when I was a baby the medical advice was to put babies to sleep on their tummies. Multidaddy and I decided that we were going to follow the most recent advice which advocates putting babies to sleep on their backs and we actually discussed this with both sets of grandparents before the birth. For things that emerge after baby comes (and there will be many) discuss them when you and your partner are alone, and then present a united front to anyone who challenges you.  Continue reading

Four Days with the Grandparents

It’s enough to strike fear into any vulnerable new mum – the visiting grandparents.

Once upon a time, pre-babies, my mother-in-law and I got on fine. We didn’t even argue about the wedding. Sure, she was not averse to telling me to wear a coat when I didn’t think I needed one or to eat various things, but I didn’t really mind and just went along with it – after all, I could see that what she was doing was mothering me, which in a way was quite sweet.

And then, BabyBoy and BabyGirl were born. And suddenly I was not prepared to ‘go along’ with things which concerned my babies.

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